How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
