I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
