I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
smell my finger.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
