i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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