i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
