physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
