my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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