Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
