she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
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