I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
