So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You took a bar mat shot.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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