I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
