I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
