I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
