I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
