Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Holy sore nipples Batman
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
