the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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