MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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