Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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