If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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