I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
