fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
