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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?

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