fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
