i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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