If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
