Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
