i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
