I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
