Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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