dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize