I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
