why didn't you poke me back
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
