yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
