is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
