tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
