I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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