I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
try to milk me bitch
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