My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
3pm strippers are depressing
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
