FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
