found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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