I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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