Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
