who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Acid is not a monday night drug
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
