WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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