break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
