i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
