Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
