i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
