would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
