no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
